Oh my……I have posted on a blog 15 times. I think that is a new record,…..for me anyway. Well, where do I begin? I finished week 5 day 1 today (Run 5 minutes walk 3, repeat 3x.) It went quite well. I ran a bit slow to begin with then picked up my pace a little. I feel that I am getting stronger because the pain in my calves is starting to go away. Also, because I did 50 pushups rapidly (military style….yes they were girly pushups…I’m working on it.) I was highly impressed with myself.
Lets talk about confidence for a moment. I know we have spoken about it a little bit before but it is important. I am reading a book called Run like a girl (where my blog title came from.)It is about the positive effect that sports have in girls lives. They are more confident, driven, and most of the time harder workers. I wasn’t involved in a lot of sports past jr high (because I wasn’t very good….) but I am realizing the truth in those studies. I am finding myself more confident and more driven then ever before. I attribute a lot of that to the training I am engaging in and the goals I keep meeting. When I meet a goal it is like a rush for me. I get to check something important off of my checklist. That is an amazing feeling. Sports, running, excercising just gives you this boost of self confidence that I have always needed.
I was always taught that pride is sinful. Don’t be proud of yourself. Don’t boast. Don’t show off your achievements. I have a very big problem with self esteem, and not being proud of anything I do is a bit of a killer. I have only learned in the year or so that I am allowed to be proud of my achievements. People are allowed to be proud of me, because I know God is. Now, I’m not saying I am going to go bragging about every little thing I do, but being able to accept praise, accept accolades, accept the love that comes with it, that is a huge boost for me.
Be proud of what you have done, and what you are going to do. I am proud of you!
Yesterday was a total techno fail! I was trying to run C25k w2 d2 (run 90 seconds walk 2 minutes for a total of 20 minutes) the treadmill stopped my workout twice, and I accidentally hit the wrong button on my phone canceling out the program. I was seriously frustrated. It got better once I stretched and got my attitude in place.The nice thing was I pushed myself to do almost two minutes of running several times. I can feel myself getting better. I can also feel myself becoming terrified about the coming workouts.
Next week I have to run for three minutes, then five minutes, then eight minutes. I need to take my husbands advice and just focus on the next days workout. I am stressing myself out over somehting I should be able to do. I just have fear in my own limitations. I hold that fear tightly to my chest as a security blanket to excuse myself from doing anything more than I think I am capable of. I use that fear to stop reaching, to stop leaping, to stop myself from stretching and growing. I didn’t used to be this afraid of everything. I used to be so brave and up for anything. Sometimes life, adulthood, a hurtful parent, it just brings you down so much that you can’t see up anymore. You can’t see the top of the huge pit you find yourself in. I just have to find my way out of this pit, one mile at a time. Walked, run, or jogged. I will find my way out. I will, again, find my courage.
I hope you too find your courage today. Whether it is to run that mile you have been dreading, apply for that job you have been wanting, or confess love that has been sitting on your heart. Our fear is something that should be squashed! It should ebb away with every mile we conquer. With every achievement feel your courage seeping back into your spirit. Feel your confidence begin to grow. Because, contrary to what we are taught as children (especially little girls), confidence is not a bad thing. Confidence is not prideful. It is being sure of what God has created in you, and using it to the fullest extent!
Be confident in yourself today!
Ps: Today is weights. Weighted squats, lunges, and deadlifts. Join me?